Lately, I've taken a crucial step towards my Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) recovery journey, and it involves something I've always cherished—exercise. Working as a psychotherapist from the comfort of my home, I began to realize how the sedentary lifestyle was affecting my well-being. From the dreaded croissant posture to the lack of physical activity, it became evident that change was essential. So, I embarked on a mission to find the right gym or classes to incorporate regular exercise into my daily life. This journey, however, wasn't without its unique challenges.
Commuting Challenges: A New Reality in FND Recovery
The first hurdle was the daily commute. Due to my FND diagnosis, my driver's license had been suspended for medical reasons. While I've accepted this as a part of my reality, it still presented barriers and hurdles in achieving my daily errands and personal goals. I had to navigate bus routes and coordinate with my family's schedules to ensure I could access local transit or secure rides to get to the gym. This logistical puzzle was the initial step to making exercise a part of my routine.
Balancing Cost and Feasibility
The next crucial factor I needed to consider was cost-effectiveness. Would I be able to visit the gym or classes frequently enough to make it a practical investment? I needed a solution that would be both financially reasonable and workable with my current lifestyle. Thankfully, the options I explored not only met my fitness needs but also fit well within my budget.
The Toughest Step: Getting Started
Now, let me share why taking that first step towards the gym was the most challenging part of this journey. Throughout my life, I've been an incredibly active individual. From adventurous activities like ice wall climbing and water skiing to the simple joy of hiking and playing squash, I've always had a deep love for movement and physical challenges.
However, the onset of the pandemic and my health changes brought forth a host of new obstacles, ultimately leading me to a point where I no longer recognized myself. I was left grappling with the person I used to be and the reality I faced—a person who'd get winded just climbing a flight of stairs, a far cry from my former self. This stark contrast between my past and present self brought forth overwhelming feelings of shame and insecurity.
I couldn't help but compare myself to the active, agile person I once was. Starting at the gym was my way of confronting this shame and insecurity head-on. The first visit to the gym was both a nervous and exhilarating experience. The presence of a personal trainer offered a sense of structure and guidance, which kept my self-doubt from spiraling out of control.
This initial assessment provided a snapshot of my current fitness level, focusing on where I am now, rather than where I was years ago. It highlighted the incredible progress I've made over the past year and a half. I'm both anxious and excited to witness how my body responds to this journey of consistent movement, particularly as we approach the Canadian winter, known for its darkness and cold temperatures.
A Journey of Rediscovery and Healing
This path is my way of regaining control, not just over my physical health but over the emotions and insecurities that FND has brought into my life. FND, a condition that often perplexes medical professionals and individuals alike, can be a challenging journey. But it's essential to remember that we're not alone in this.
FND is known for its varied and often unpredictable symptoms. It can affect mobility, vision, speech, and coordination, and it often coexists with other mental health conditions like anxiety and depression. While my journey involves exercise and physical recovery, the emotional and psychological components are equally significant. FND can be a rollercoaster of emotions, from frustration and self-doubt to moments of hope and resilience.
By sharing my experiences, I hope to connect with others who are navigating their own unique challenges, whether they are related to FND or any other condition that affects physical and mental health. It's important to remember that recovery is a process that requires patience and self-compassion. The road may be filled with twists and turns, but every step forward is a victory worth celebrating.
I aim to encourage and inspire those who may be facing their own challenges, whether they involve FND, chronic illness, mental health, or any other life-altering experience. We're all on different paths, but the common thread that binds us is the resilience and strength we discover within ourselves.
Together, let's navigate this path of recovery, one step at a time, supporting each other and celebrating every triumph along the way. Remember, you're not alone, and your journey is a testament to your strength and determination.
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